God is Good

This past Thursday I found myself in every woman's nightmare. No, I wasn't naked in public or in my high school math class without my homework. I was about to nurse my 5 month old son when I felt a lump. I'd never noticed it before, and it was not just another milk duct, this was a "lump." Girls have been warned about this ever since that first health class back in 7th grade. I feared the worst possible scenerio EVER. I searched the internet with every wording I could think of, "lump in breast while lactating" "hard, painless lump in breast" The websites were helpful to give me some ideas of what it was NOT, but nothing concrete really. Friday I was told my family doctor could not see me until Monday. MONDAY! I had to sweat this all weekend!! I couldn't help but be miffed. I had the attitude of, "I bet if it was HER breast she would work things around to be checked out the same day." Despite the inconvenience, life went on. I held together fairly well, but was easily stressed and grouchy. So was Andrew, for that matter. Sunday was the best I could ask for. We both got our Temple reccomends and made plans with bishop to enter the Temple, for ourselves, this Saturday. He even called the Stake prresident to move up our interviews with him, otherwise they weren't going to happen until next week. Now we need to call and clear it with the Temple. Today it was closed. It's very, very sad when attendance is so low they must close the Temple down half the time. Tomorrow Andrew will be calling to set the appointment, so we are [still] praying things will work for this Saturday. So far so good though!
Today I was very nervous. More nervous than ever before. Going into the doctor's made me feel like I was in some Lifetime Network movie. The leading character was about to be told she has cancer and the rest of the movie follows her heroic "battle" to live.
Thankfully, it did NOT go that way. Yes, something is there. It is not my imagination, nor a clogged milk duct like many people told me. It's actually a good thing this has come to my attention, and I have not ignored it. I go on Thursday to get an ultrasound. I'd never heard of a breast ultrasound, but apparently mammagrams are worthless for women under 55 or some arbitrary age, so this is the next step. From what he could tell by just feeling, it is not cancerous, but could be a benign tumor that will need to be removed sooner or later. He believes it is fibrocystic related, and has nothing to do with nursing. So that's where we are at.